A woman’s Zina is more repulsive than that of the man: Debunking the Misconception.
Somebody tweeted a strange thing, and I just couldn’t stop myself. I am really sorry, but what is this? The tweet says: Ibn Al-Qayyim RA said: “A woman’s Zina is more repulsive than that of the man. Because more than just violating the right of Allah, she has also corrupted her husband’s bed, caused the attachment of someone else’s lineage to him, has brought shame and disgrace to her family and relatives, has violated what was purely her husband’s right and betrayed him, quashed his honor in front of the people, caused his humiliation for being married to a whore (prostitute), and many other harms of her Zina.” (See image below).
Why doesn't this include that “A man’s Zina is also as repulsive as that of a woman? Because more than just violating the right of Allah, he has also corrupted his wife’s bed, caused the attachment of someone else’s lineage to her, brought shame and disgrace to his family and relatives, violated what was purely his wife’s right and betrayed her, quashed her honor in front of the people, caused her humiliation for being married to a male-whore (male-prostitute) “whatsoever it is”, and many other harms of his Zina.” Why?
Sorry, but in Islam, the sin of Zina is seen as a bad act for both genders, as it is clearly stated in Surah Al-Isra, Verse 32: “And do not approach fornication, for it is an outrageous act and an evil way.” This verse doesn’t include only women, more women and less men or anything like that. It’s a clear message for everyone. Likewise, in a hadith of Muslims (2658a, Book 33 Hadith 6422), the Prophet PBUH said, “Allah fixed the very portion of adultery which a man will indulge in. There would be no escape from it. The zina of eyes is looking; the zina of ears is listening; the zina of the tongue is speaking; the zina of the hand is touching, and the zina of the foot is walking. The heart wishes and longs, and the private part confirms that or denies that”.
Where does it distinguish between a man and a woman? Or it applies equally to both men and women. Yes, there are serious implications for Zina, but not just the zina of a woman but the zina of human beings “be it a man or a woman!”. The illegitimate child is equally the property of a man as it is of a woman; betrayal or dishonor to family and spouse are equal. But we as a society are putting more burden on women only? Why??? There is a difference between Zina and the Self-Support Act; in Zina, there are two people, a man and a woman, involved, not just a woman alone, not just a man alone.
Why are women more stigmatized for having affairs? Yes, Islam allows you to have four weddings, and if you are married, you can still marry another woman, but my friend, it's not that you have fun with another woman while being married, and it’s not considered betrayal because you are allowed to marry four women at a time! Not at all!
The key principle of Islam is fairness and equality. As in Surah Al-Baqarah verse 187, Allah says, “They (your wives) are a garment for you, and you are a garment for them.” This verse clearly says men and women are supposed to be equally fair and honest to their spouses, and there should be mutual respect and responsibilities. If this had not been the case, Allah would have clearly stated in the Quran that: Women should take more care of their respect and not betray men or disrespect their men as they are doing this and that. But Allah is so kind and merciful while prevailing justice for both genders and asking both not to betray their spouses!
This stupid perception is the reason that women victims of rape feel ashamed, as if they have committed a crime by going to a rapist and forcing them to rape them. I am saying this while keeping those 2 months, 6 months, 1-year-old, and 2 to 12-year-old girls who were neither seducing anybody nor wearing those seductive clothes to attract men and force them to rape them! When you put all the burden of respect, honesty, and stuff like that on a woman, this is what happens. People consider rape victims to be the real culprits, so why was she carrying a body? Why was she born a woman or girl with those private parts a man can satisfy himself with?
They know very well that they will just simply come out of it, and nobody will blame them, and family will ask women to stay silent as it’s a matter of respect, integrity, honor and stuff like that. But my question from society is, Why is the honor of the family not in the private parts of a man and rather in those of a woman?” why??? Why does a woman become the reason for disrespect to the family after being raped or having sexual intercourse, but not a man? Why? This is destroying the lives of many women, especially in the rural areas of Pakistan. I have seen people asking their daughters to stay silent, as it will bring their honor down.
When somebody steals something, do we call the one stealing the thief or the one who owns it? Who is the culprit? Who should feel embarrassed? Who brought the honor of family down? Whose mother and father should keep their eyes down? Who? Ask yourself. Imagine a man saying that the owner of gold should be ashamed of himself because he kept the gold at home so that he could come and steal it! Just imagine. Is there any sense? No. You can say that the owner is somehow guilty if he placed the gold at the door, so it was not the fault of the thief. Or it can be that the owner was showing gold to a thief so that he could steal it. Makes any sense? I don’t think so!
In the same way, putting the burden only on women after sexual intercourse is completely senseless. This logic that women’s zina is more repulsive, and this ideology of women bringing more disrespect/shame/disgrace to the family is the biggest harm to society, as this encourages men to blame women and get it off their shoulders as if they are the innocent babies who just did nothing at all. Grow up, people! Think trillions of times before posting any such thing; as it said, “Light gains make a heavy purse”. Society’s little actions and thoughts have resulted in the situation we are in today. So please try to play a positive role rather than a negative one.
